the light unto my path

a funny thing happened tonight, as i began to tidy up and prepare for a move. I found my headlamp, and for whatever reason, began to use it, with most of the house lights off. It was perhaps just satiation of my desire for adventure--even as explicated in the mundane and routine. Or perhaps it was God gently prodding me....for it seemed like a lightning bolt to my brain when He reminded me that His word is indeed the lamp to my feet.

So i noticed some things:With a lamp, instead of a lighted house, everything is more dangerous. [the amount of Scripture one reads then, seems to be inversely proportional to one's succeptibility to danger, and yet proportionally correlated to the danger one will face]

The lamp reveals things in the darkness that are not evident in a house full of light. Like small spiders, and marks on the wall, and greasy-finger-stains-on-my-computer-because-i-eat-every-meal-on-the-couch-b/c-i'm-a-bachelor. I think this is why I cannot stay in the house full of light,aka Colorado Springs, as euphoric and pristinely blissful as it may be. That is to say...some are made to stay in a lighted house, like some are the creatures made for the mainframe Zion, in 'the Matrix.' Like it or not, it seems i'm made to strap my keister in a ship and rocket out to battle in a world hostile to my very existence. Well...not perhaps all the time.

But my point is, the world is hostile to those who stand for something worth dying for.But that is not to say one should read the Word less...only that one should take the Word, as it is indeed a lamp unto one's feet and a light unto one's path...into the trepidation and ominous blackness where scant light or truth is ever shone. If you don't regularly use your headlamp, you forget its nuisances. Ditto for the Holy Scriptures.I had been out of the O.Testament too long...i forgot how fierce, wild, and yes--Sovereign, God truly is.

Frankly, I'm re-thinking my entire existence. Not because i think God has changed [nor has He deceased, Nietzsche]. Instead, it is my view that has changed...."it is only your mind that bends...not the spoon." What a finite and puny mind i have....always thinking more of myself than i should.God's whispers that accompany the lamp He has given us sound earth-shaking in the silence and solitude of darkness. And if you are quiet enough, quite overwhelm the absence of light. it is as if His words are simply 'more real' than the nothingness...which reminds me:He made contrast. He set this entire thing up in contrast. This came through to me in reading through Jeremiah and Acts....it is a 'macro' theme of entire Word itself.

God made things in contrast--opposition even. He is opposed to things. He kills people at times. Well maybe you haven't forgotten, but methinks i had. Which could be why we appreciate things...the contrast. The lamp in darkness made me appreciate His words even more....and my headlamp made me appreciate the house of light moreso than i had in quite a while. And the same for the Christian mecca of Co. springs, which it appears i'll be leaving in 6 months...just like i'm leaving this current blessing of a home in a week or two. reminds me of Lewis's claim that we shouldn't be asking about pain, but...what sort of Being creates pleasure??!!?!? what a concept???

but nooooooo, here we are complaining about pain.and i realize how little pain i really have in my life.

well, anyway...if you're still reading this, glad i haven't lost your interest just yet. if you're asking yourself...is matthew really goofy and crazy enough to be wearing a headlamp around in a mostly-dark house while packing his things...the answer is yes. but you SHOULD be asking yourself...is matthew and anyone else who claims this crazy enough to actually think an Omnipotent uncaused-cause who created our entire cosmos cares enough to speak through innocuous events and silly things like headlamps and dark houses to people?

yes, yes i do. and i've found its in the most weird/random/unexpected moments that His gentle proddings and whispers tend to scream the loudest into my soul which has, thanks to Him, a renewed yearning to know Him intimately.

PSALM 119:105] "Thy word [is] a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."