the wisdom of the homeless man

there is a girl that i have become, peculiarly, friends with from across the country, over the past year. she has a wonderful way about her of viewing all people on equal footing under God's umbrella of love and provision, and one of her comments has stuck with me since a phone conversation we had in october or so, when she spoke passionately about God loving her no less or no more not only than the most famous or rich person--but also with the same love which He extends to a random homeless guy, on the street.

this hit me--that subtle spirit of entitlement, of feeling elitist and better than others has crept into my seemingly perpetually wicked heart. it doesn't creep in with bold statements of belief or facts. oh, no, it seeps in like soapy water under the bathroom door, slowly polluting the carpet of my life with implicit affirmations of somehow deserving my position in life, my opportunities, my possessions or talents. my my my....how putrid! my selfish americanized insecure greed has become clear to me.

and startlingly clear, the other day, when stopping off pch, just outside santa monica, at a gas station. the funny thing is, i almost did not stop. but, something [or Someone?] compelled me to do so, so i did, and then, i got mad when the light was red. how juvenile of me. so i'm frustratedly waiting at the light, and i up and look to my left, and see--a homeless guy.

this is what hit me: the lie he's believing about his life, when boiled down to its root, is that he is powerless and must accept his plight. the root of the lie is that he can do nothing, is impotent, to alter his situation and/or lot in life.

for the record, let me say that this is just as dangerous as the lie that says that we control everything, we we we. in the generation of hollywood romances and million dollar 401k's and blissful retirements and pristine educations for all, we have accepted that lie as well.

however, this one is similarly dangerous. and in that moment, as i spaced out in thought [and suddenly couldn't care less if the light stayed red for 20 more minutes], i realized this is what i'd been believing, too! i've been feeling constrained, that nothing will change the struggles i'm facing in life and have been bogged down in, when the truth of the matter is that we are given struggles because why? for exactly the same reason as Alfred tells Batman....why do we fall? so we can get back up. same as the d-wade commercial--fall 7 times, get up 8.

its going to happen. it's a BLESSING in that it is a situation that shows us we are capable of getting up, being strong, and persevering. which leads to hope, to proven character.

and next time, because i'm running out of mental energy and time, i'll have to tell the story of the red pen and golf ball that i lost 2000 miles apart and somehow found, unexpectedly and in an extremely surreal moment, either exact copies of or the actual things themselves, in Malibu, multiple years later. probably the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me in my life.