the importance of desert

i set a resolution to visit joshua tree national park this semester. somehow, it never materialized. well, i know how it didn't. life happened. other things happened that put my focus swiveling toward contemplating leaving mid-semester, or even earlier, and regulated doing my usual coordinator of all things social role to the back burner. which, i am finding, leaves me feeling like a fish out of water. i feel as if i'm the actor with no costume, or at least, one with a gaping hole in it that everyone can see but me.

the semester's not over yet, although i don't think i'll be at joshua tree until later this year. we never know what's around the next bend, however.

something i've been thinking about lately is how often we take an americanized view toward spiritual growth and nourishment. what i mean is, we automatically assume that there is an idealistic, 3-course-meal-esque normalized way of looking at what we 'need.' this was not how Jesus taught. he had a woman touch him who merely touched Him and was healed. His very words spoken across distances brought the power of life. He spoke of mustard seeds equitable with mountains. what is the economy of scale in the kingdom of heaven? there isn't one.

instead, faith is faith. the amount does not matter. it is a matter of quality, of substance, not of degree, or size. similarly, we wouldn't go over to africa and hand a starving child a giant steak, would we? no, we would start with water. maybe some wafers or bread. perhaps this is part of the imagery with the breaking and passing of bread--small pieces go a long way. what i mean is, or at least--what i've been thinking about is--how often do we treat spiritual truths and nourishment for others and ourselves as a 'one size fits all' super value meal?

instead, we should look at the whole person, look in the mirror, and seek the appropriate amount of spiritual nourishment. if its His truth, His word being taught/shared correctly, or true prayer--then the amount of time/length of words, etc. doesn't matter. it will bring true sustenance and in turn, growth.

but that takes patience. and faith.

i think that's why we don't do it. america is all about getting everything NOW. i haven't been able to get the beginning of psalms out of my head for a while now--the image is of a tree, by a stream. trees grow when planted by a stream...SLOWLY. it takes YEARS.

why do i expect things in my life to happen so quickly?!

silly rabbit. and my floppy ears probably make me look as goofy as i feel right about now.

desert times are essential. when dry and needy, we hear His voice clearly. we understand the ultimate futility of earthly life, accomplishments, and what we really will take from this life.

i don't want to say i've stopped looking for certain things in life [namely, romantic love], but well, i've ceased throwing wasted time and energy toward things that He does not seem to be cultivating in my life. the biggest ones of these are an excess of friendships, and my computer, and emphasizing working out.

well, that's probably convoluted or cryptic or both, but my point is--there is a difference between long term investing, and by faith investing where He commands, and simply wasting time, energy, and resources. when you stop and think about it--look around you sometime and ask yourself, where will all these components of my life be in 5 years, 10 years...50?

the simplest answer is that He is the only constant in our lives. there are other probabilities, but insofar as they are far from Him, so will our treasure, and therefore, our hearts, be far from Him as well. and if our endeavors are close to Him, then our hearts will be ever blest and joy-filled with His true satiating life, of which our thirsts die in satiation, never despairing no matter how dry the desert through which our paths may lead us still onward....