Captainhood....

'Captain' is my new nickname.....thrust upon me by many others. God has been showing me in the past week ways in which many do look to me for wisdom, leadership, and an exemplary standard of excellence. That is for His glory...for me excel that others may be likewise imbued with a desire for His truth, good deeds, and love. Those are the spiritual implications to me, anyway, of the past week. As usual, it's a long story, but basically the nickname began when i was football team captain....and we won in a massacre. It was bloody...very bloody.

I have been struggling with the loss of extreme intellectual stimulation, as Tackett and Leland's class has given way to the Bottomlys' more relational-focused class. As you all know, I'm quite a relational being, but obviously i'm 'better' at contributing to and absorbing from a more intellectually-minded course. Anyway, it has been a refining experience. As one fellow student has put it, the first half of the summer they 'rip your brain out, stomp on it, and put it back in,' for the second half they 'rip your heart out, stomp on it, and put it back in.' Well, that's quite harsh, and they don't stomp on it--they stretch it, strengthen it, greatly increase it's size and ability....but you get the point--its INTENSE.

God has blessed me much so with....i know this sounds silly....people taking an interest in conversing with me by asking me how i'm doing. This has not happened previously, and it has provided an open opportunity for me to talk through my struggles. This has been quite a contrast for me...i'm used to everyone seeing me as intellectually dominant and therefore without struggles [which we all have in one area of life or another!] or need for encouragement, being lifted up, etc. The fact that it has come through several peers, both male and female, has been very relieving and edifying...as from the Lord.

I guess the short version is that i am used to, in a larger setting, especially with those i don't know extremely well, having to look elsewhere for encouragement regarding my weaknesses and struggles. Things have been increasingly busy, as we enter the home stretch of the Institute. There is always too much to do and not enough time, this past week i have been very good about being disciplined with time, and keeping my priorities in order. More living options for here in Colorado....God has not opened any door occupationally yet past August, but perhaps those will come, who knows. My heart is still torn between Illinois and here....what wonderful community God has blessed me with being a part of in both places. There does not seem to be a wrong choice!

There has been much adventure and fun as of late...but God has me focused more on the broad-stroke view of what He's doing in my life....pray that i will continually be silent before Him, 'be still and know that He is God,' know Him and calmly, quietly obey Him for the coming steps beyond this. He has given me direction regarding a future opportunity, but it would not begin until January. Anyway, love you all, and miss you!